Anriel · Mendereth's · Journal

Ok, so not maybe as late as usual, it is only five to midnight, but I'm sleepy so it counts tonight. So, after following a post on a message bord I often frequent, I found out that a lot of friends I have actually do this whole live journal thing. I mean, a couple of people I knew did it a couple of years ago, but they just used it to post how depressed and suicidal they were, knowing their friends would read it and panic, but refuse to let them help hem. not that I felt bitter about this at the time or anything! Luckily those people, who didn't turn out to be fantastic friends anyway have moved away and hopefully matured since. Either way, I'm willing to try the whole live journal thing again. Maybe I'll be luckier this time.

So, now as to what to write. Not really sure to be honest. was never one for keeping a journal. Tried a few times, but generally only tended to write in it when I felt like ranting. Problem with that was when my younger sister then read my journal and thought that all the negative pent up messy writing was actually how I felt most of the time, not realising it is my way of actually dealing with things that feel bad. She told my Mum and it too a LOT of explaining to get out of that one, let me tell you!

So maybe I could write what I did today. Can't think that ayone would be interested, but here goes... I got up, maybe about half nine. I could say that out of thoughtfulness for my housemates I decided not to have a shower until later in case I woke them, but I'd be lying. Basically, I couldn't be bothered to hae one! So I turned on the computer and played Sims for an hour or so. Anyone else interested in that btw? I got Sims 2 with the university and nightlife expansions, not that I'm so obsessed I can make skins or recolours or anything like that, I find it slightly addictive from time to time. Usually when I need to tidy my room, or finish that essay.

Well, after a bit Nicola came down and we sat and had a long chat over a cup of tea, mainly about a friend, or ex-friend I should say who kind messed with me a bit and now possibly wants to get back in touch. Not entirely sure what to do about that one. During said conversation, received text off another friend, incidentally also my boss, but that's another story. We agreed to meet up and go see a film, so I finally got off my arse and got in the shower.

Film was good, went to see Kinky Boots. Such a laugh, would recommend it to anyone except predjudiced homophobes who may find it offensive.

Went to work - I work in telesales for a photography company. No, I am not not oen fo the annoying peope who rings you up and tries to get you to buy something, I only ring people who have indicated they actually want me to contact them. Honestly, otherwise I wouldn't do it, I hate telesales people who don't take no for an answer as much as the next person who has a telephone land line in their name.

Hmm, work was a laugh, with conversations edging towards the seriousy dodgy! Then same boss/friend person, let's make it easier and call him Andy, came back home with me, stopping on the way for pizza which we ate with my two housemates watching House on tv. Clicked that the female person in charge of the hospital is played by the same actress who plays the callgirl Sam sleeps with by mistake in the first epiode of the West Wing.

So now I am hopefully about to collapse in to bed nd not think about the amount of work I have to get up and do tomorrow!

Have spent absolutely hours on the phone applying for jobs only to be told I'm going to get lots of application forms sent to me. Bla! Very good job of 30 ours a week and £600 a month is in Stockton, so rather pissed off about that as would have been answer to much financial problems, and end of minus money. Never mind. All have left to do now today is hand in cv to Van Mildert, get application form from Pizza Hut, then put money in bank, pay accommodation bill, come back, do more research for nasty vikings essay, have a shower and go to salsa. Interesting...walking around Newcastle on my own at midnight should be fun... Might spend a while playing on the net first though.. I see my friends on here are doing likewise, or writing songs when should be essay writing! ;)

Wow, ok, so...um..well, I've been promising to get on this place for weeks now, hearing how good it is and all that, so I am finally here and Jen has given me a basic run down on how to use it. Cool. Well...ok then...Not really sure what to write about - it might take me a while to get into this.
Not very good with journal diary things. Generally tend to only write in them when feeling very explosive and let all negative feelings out in one go. Anyone reading this, keep that well in mind, cause I just write what I feel at the time, which isn't usually what I feel most of the time and can give people completely the wrong impression.
Well, I guess a rundown on my basically boring day could be in order ( a warning in case people really can't be bothered with what happened to me today, which is fair enough!) Um..Darren got up quite early this morning, cuddled me for a while which was lovely, but also bad cause was shattered and needed sleep. He left at about half eight. I managed not to cry this time, which is good for me. I went back to bed, got up about half ten, had a shower, dressed in a slightly smarter outfit than usualy i.e. I wore a shirt! Took essay to be handed in, went to return library books, but had to run all the way back to Mary's to get library card cause dumbass me forgot it! Worked out that library computers actually lie to us about what books they have and where they are. Also found out that there are very little books in our library written about the Vikings that were written after 1968. Not helpful for essay that needs to be handed in on Monday.
Ok, um, went to lunch. Nicola was very quiet. Not sure whether I should press the matter. Darren reckons that she is the most depressed one amongst us all. But what do I do? I don't know her that well, and I doubt she'd talk to me if something was worrying her. Will keep in head for a while and see if things get better.
Went for coffee with Rosie. Like flashback to last term, but I really enjoyed it. I have missed chatting to her. Hope things get better with that friendship. She is the person who I know best and who knows me best out of our whole group.
Met Steve in town after leaving Brown Sugar. Chatted briefly about Saturday night, namely him getting lost in Durham while following me, Jen and Rosie in our little excursion. He accompanied me to middle of town where I thought Charlie might be, and waited with me while she came. I kind of wanted to chat to Charlie just on our own, but obviously couldn't just tell Steve to bugger off nicely, so we just went for a drink in Riverside. Maybe will get chance to later on in week if she doesn't mind and isn't too busy. Hope so. The last couple of weeks has really brought home to me that i don't really know that much about the people I claim are my friends, the people I really care about, and I want to remedy that as soon as possible. I feel really guilty for not taking the time to get to know them properly.
Anyway, did lots of bank research about business mortgages and writing down clubs and events I want to go to. Came back to flat, looked up for jobs on internet and found quite a few so will spend tomorrow applying for jobs. Ok, and working on essay! Have to go to work tonight - damn!